The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that burning policemen at the stake is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Eastern European terror gangs are using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Eastern European terror gangs using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists was Conservative head office who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..